"And if I only could

I'd make a deal with God

And I'd get him to swap our places"

Kate Bush, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)”

I've been in love with this song my whole life. Released in 1985, we both joined the world at closely the same time. At that age, I hadn't experienced the type of relationship Kate Bush wrote the song about, but I knew love. As a young empath I really connected with wishing I could take other's places. To lessen their pain. To ease their hearts. I have always loved Kate Bush's creation with my whole being.

"I'd be running up that road

Be running up that hill

With no problems"

The world is rediscovering the song thanks to Stranger Things and I couldn't be happier to be re-experiencing it within the context of the show along with everyone. I've not yet finished the season as I'm trying really hard to get away from binging streaming content thanks to beautiful weather and an inviting patio.

What I find interesting, or wonder, is if our experiences of crisis over the past few years have grown our ability to really connect with the song. For me, I've been contemplating who, at this time in my life, I'd swap places with. There is absolutely no shortage of loved ones in crisis. It seems like most of those that I am surrounded by are not just in crisis, but major crisis. Physical health, mental health, financial, career ... the list is heartbreakingly long.

"Say, if I only could

I'd make a deal with God

And I'd get him to swap our places"

It's heart-wrenchingly clear who Max wishes she could swap places with. If you know me, you likely know who I would gladly swap places with. Being close to someone with dementia is heart breaking and being a caregiver is not only that, but life altering. Witnessing the minute to minute, day to day loss of ability, understanding, and self-determination is agonizing. But by far the worst are the tears shed. Shed in moments of frustration. Shed in moments of deep sadness. Sometimes shed openly, but often shed in the quiet moments when they think they are alone and no one will see. To watch them lose who they are and lament the loss. It’s unbearable.

"I'd be running up that road

Be running up that hill

With no problems"

With so many of those that I love in crisis, it's just not possible to try to make a deal with god for them all. But my dear loved one, I would run up that hill and make a deal for you. Over and over.

"If I only could, be running up that hill

If I only could, be running up that hill"

This series is dedicated to you.

Running Up That Hill